Writings

You are my 1 Corinthians 13

 

Marrying the person you want to spend the rest of your life with doesn’t mean you already have had your happy ending. But rather, it is the beginning, the beginning of your journey together towards the path of your own happily ever after. It is true, that there is no perfect love; that marrying someone you love doesn’t mean it would be filled with only love and happiness. Love, just like life is full of ups and downs…

1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

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Love is patient…

I remember the nights I spent praying for you. I prayed to have someone who is true to his words, honest, compassionate, understanding, and loving. Then one day you came, I was scared to open up and break my walls for you but you climbed it and you patiently waited until you finally crumbled the wall I built. And my love, how happy I am that you came along to my life and change it. Thank you for being patient with me along the way; when I am feeling grumpy and having my mood swings, you will just sit there, listening to my rants patiently. Thank you. 

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Love is kind…

My college professor once told us, that if we’re going to have a date with a man, we should observe how this person treats his inferior. Because sooner or later, he would do the same thing to you. And I was relieved when you treat people with a great respect. Their profession doesn’t matter. You treat everybody with kindness. You are kind and compassionate. There are times that I doubt if you are a human or an angel who came down to earth to be with me. You are so good to be true. The way you treat other people with humility and kindness says a lot on how good of a person you are. And I love you even more for that. Thank you.

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Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  Love does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking.

I must have done something really good in my past life to deserve an angel  like you. You’ve got all the nice things in the world, but you never try to show off but rather, you share your blessings with other people. You are always willing to lend a helping hand to people who are in need. Maybe, I am one of them. Maybe, I needed you and thank you for not just lending but giving every bits of you to me. You are very humble in every ways and I admire you for that. You never make me wonder why you chose me. You never make me feel incomplete. You always make me feel I am loved; that I am your universe, and you always make me feel I am more than enough.

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Love is not easily angered…

In the span of our relationship, never have I seen you angry and it scares the hell out of me. Because they said, a person who doesn’t get angry tends to explode the loudest. I asked you once, why you have never been angry at me in spite of I, being so stubborn and obnoxious most of the time. You stared at me, and created a curve in your lips and muttered, “Love is not easily angered..” I frowned and rolled my eyes for I did not get your answer. You sit with me quietly whenever I am angry at small things while you hold my hand patiently. You are my moment of quiet and peace in this loud world. I finally understand what the sentence meant.

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Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

We are not perfect. We will continue to commit many mistakes, but mistakes won’t measure the love we have for each other.  What I like the most about our relationship is that, we accept each other flaws and imperfections. We are willing to compromise when things get rough. Thank you for bringing out the best in me. You made me the woman I am now because you love me; because you correct me when I’m at fault. You give me a room to grow as a human being. You never comforted me with lies. And baby, how sweet your truth is. Thank you for your truth.

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Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

 

No words can express how much I am loving you—and when I said I am loving you what I mean is that I am going to love you as long as I am breathing. Thank you for not giving up on me; for making me feel whole and complete; for entrusting me your future kids, future meals, future figure, future house. 🙂

I can’t promise you the moon nor the stars because they are so overrated. And I also can’t guarantee you that it’s going to be a smooth sailing journey. But, I promise to always protect you, to always trust, always hope, and always persevere. I promise not to let go of your hand whatever the weather might be. You are my hope, my light, my world, my life, my everything..

Ecclesiastes 3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Indeed it is. As we start a brand new whole journey together, may God be in the center of our relationship. May he be blessed this journey with you.

Thank you God, for giving me an amazing man. I’ll be forever grateful to you for binding us together as one. Sabi nga ni Toni Gonzaga, “Lord. Pandesal lang hiningi ko sa inyo.Burger binigay niyo.May fries pa. ” 🙂 ❤

What God has brought together, let no man separate.

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Illustrations by Puung

 

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Writings

23 Quotable Quotes Written By You

Dear You,

To begin with, I’d like to congratulate you for your 22 years of existence.There are times you act like an asshole but I know you too well more than your people know you. I know that you have a heart of gold inside but you choose to show how cold you are and I can’t blame you for that, because people always disappoint you; they always keep promising that they wouldn’t leave but they left anyway. I know you are tired, emotionally and mentally tired but I thank you for not giving up on us. Now that you are turning 23. I have reread your previous articles and I couldn’t help but to feel proud that this girl is turning into fine young woman. As there’s a saying, we mature by the damages that we have encountered, not by age.Because of that, I’ve jotted down the 23 quotable quotes that you have written in the passed months.

On handling criticisms…

Embracing The Real You in a World full of Perfectionist

  1. Do not be afraid to be yourself because once you know your self-worth, it really doesn’t matter anymore if people call or think you as a crazy, asshole, bitch and the likes. Why would you even care? Bruno Mars thinks that you are amazing just the way you are. And gurllll, remember Lady Gaga’s song? You are beautiful in your way cause God makes no mistakes, you’re on the right track baby. You were born this way!

 

On battling anxiety..

Anxiety

2. When anxiety creeps in, there’s no way to get out of it.Here it is again, the anxiety that overwhelms me for a long time. There’s no way to escape it, nowhere to hide. My head is throbbing, my stomach is churning, my heart is aching. I wish I could delete certain people and memories in my life. I’ve been fighting with the demons inside of me. At night, they will come and by the morning, they’re gone. I always tell myself that there’s no room for negative feelings. Not now. Not ever.

  •  She’s in a dark room where silence is deafening, there’s a lump in her throat, her heart is heavy, tears are about to kiss her cheeks, she feels like she’s gonna burst at any moment. A sudden flash of lightning bolt appears in the sky passing through the window; she sees herself silhouetted by it; thunder breaks the silence; the sky seems like sympathizing with her feelings. And just then, she fees calm and falls asleep with a storm in her heart.
  • I’d always remember you from the exhilarating moment when I first laid my eyes on you, when we first stared at each others’ eyes and uttered the confession of love to the excruciating pain that I felt when I asked you the truth and you chose to sugarcoat your lies. —The Most Dangerous Disease: Having a Strong Memory

 

On learning to be your own kind of hero…

What’s Wrong With Being Single?!

3. Understand that there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship and that relationship is messy;and that prince charming doesn’t exist;do not wait for your knight in shining armor to come around because you are not Damsel in distress waiting to be saved. Wait for someone who will give you a sword and let the inner warrior of you be unleashed. Be your own kind of hero.

  • You look at the mirror and we see different things. You sigh because you can’t be as pretty as your favorite celebrity, I sigh because you think that way. You look again at the mirror and tears of disappointment start to roll down on that exquisite face, you think that the journey ends there. I look at the mirror and I see a beautiful extra-ordinary woman who has a bright future ahead of her. Darling, wipe your tears and show the world what you are capable of. You are more than a pretty face. You don’t have to starve yourself just to be as sexy as your favorite Victoria’s secret model; tell you what, having a sexy mind is way better than having a sexy body.—More than a pretty face
  • You became a scar that I would always carry for the rest of my life.And I think I can say that I am proud of this; for this is a scar that is sign of my own bravery and courage to love whole-heartedly despite of the circumstances and consequences. And I could finally heave a deep sigh of relief because I know I have gone through catastrophe and survived; still alive and breathing. And most importantly— still believing in love. I finally accept the fact that you are my lesson not my happy-ever-after.The Most Dangerous Disease: Having a Strong Memory
  • A relationship is a give and take. You can’t be the one who always gives and receives nothing in return. For some, they call it unconditional love. But for me, I call it martyrdom.You can’t wipe his ass every time he shits. If you know what I mean.Stop Thinking What If, Start Thinking What Is

 

On facing the other side of the isosceles…

Isosceles

4. Some days, you would think that you finally own him; his attention, his affection;but everywhere you go is haunted by me. That couch that you are sitting, we used to sit and cuddle there while we were watching a movie; that cup that you are using, he used to pour some tea or coffee in there for me;from the cup to the plates and utensils— they have my claw marks;the sala, the bathroom, bedroom, and furniture— have my fingerprints;from the places that you go (restaurants,malls,cinema,roads)— you would see my ghost. He would always remember me through those little things. My name would always taste like blood in your mouth. When you kiss him, you would taste my sweetness in his lips. When he touches you, you would wonder how he worshiped my body. When he stares at you, he would see a different person wishing you were me. You would wake up in the middle of the night crying and you would feel like there’s a dagger on your chest cause after a tiring earthquake with him, you’d know that no matter what you do, no matter how you twist and turn your body, you would satisfy his manhood but you would never ever own his heart.  There are some days you would feel unworthy and you’re gonna pick up a fight with him and surely, he would comfort you (with lies) until you stop whining but you would know deep down on his heart he has never forgotten. I might become a story but I left a mark that you would never erase. Our souls have made love in a way that you cannot imagine. 

  • Live busily, happily, and humbly. Rejoicing in somebody’s heartbreak would give you satisfaction in a short while but soon enough all the burdens and heartaches that she has experienced would be yours. If you think that your life is as bright as the broad daylight and hers is as dark as a stormy night, just remember that the world is rotating. What goes around comes back around.—“You will never find happiness in the sorrows of another woman.” -Dr. Amari Soul

 

On remembering the last goodbye..

The Memoir of Last Good bye

5. It was a typical morning. The sun was up, the birds were chirping, the roads were busy, everything and everybody were moving oblivious to the current chaos in her heart. She wanted to stop the time or perhaps slowed it down, she always wanted to do that every time she was with him. They had their breakfast in silence, the silence was deafening, he was the one who broke it, “what do you want to do today?” he asked cheerfully, (a typical question) and that day was the last time that she would hear it.They didn’t really have anything in their minds. They just wanted to stay indoor and savor every seconds that they were still together. Their bodies, hearts, and souls had made love for the last time; they whispered how much they love each other and uttered the promise of a lifetime. A lot of people fail to fulfill their promises sometimes people made promises at the time they’re most elevated in their feelings. But to these two people, it is up to them how long they could keep each other in their hearts…

  • Sometimes Goodbyes are ForeverWhen people say good night, it literally means good night; when people say good bye, it could mean “Good bye see you soon. See you later.” You still get the chance to see that person in the future. But you also have to understand the deep definition of good bye cause people change and feelings fade; It’s like, “I’m not saying that we won’t see each other again perhaps we’ll see each other tomorrow, next week, next month or next year but there’s no guarantee that the feelings are still there; when I say good bye I say good bye for the love that we shared but I  surely treasure the memories; you’ve got to realize that sometimes good byes are forever.”
    • I have already boxed the memories we had, I separated the good and the bad and the lessons in each. I, thank you for the life-altering lessons you’ve taught me but I’m not staying. —I Love You No More

 

On a slowly detachment

detachment

6.  You are not a superhero who has the special ability to save. The thing is that superheroes save lives not relationships. So basically, it’s in the palm of your hand. At the end of the day, you will choose to hold on because that what love is; people tend to hold on in a drop of hope that things can still go back to normal, you will try and try until you get tired; and slowly by slowly, detachment surfaces. You never wish for it but it happens…

 

On healing yourself

How Reading Books Helped Me to Get On With my Life

7. “I find peace and contentment by simply staring at you. Thank you for taking me to places I’ve never been, for giving me roller coaster emotions, and for always being there when I need to drift off in wonderland. You’re such a good friend!”

  • When everything seems so tautological and things get out of control.  I say,take your time. Close your heart. Dance with the pain. Enjoy the solitude. Find and love yourself. When you are ready, the right one will come along. Don’t be  afraid to fall in love again. Trust love one more time. And then again and again and again.—To Love Again
  • We are all broken inside. In our brokenness, we try to find consolations about the consequences of our actions; the regrets of the could haves, should haves, and what ifs. I think human beings like to make believe themselves with these sort of things just like how people get enthusiastically into learning more about butterfly effect, parallel universe, and the likes.Through these, there’s a little hope living inside all of us that even if we may not share this lifetime with the one we love the most,  along the wide universe, our futures are different, our futures are somewhere out there, floating along the other universe; the parallel universe. So let me believe that somehow, somewhere on the other side of the vast-boundless universe, we have our happy ending.—The Parallel Universe

 

On loving the rainy weather…

Pluviophile

8. The rain started to fall heavily; thunder rumbled in the distance; lightning struck the dark sky. She stared at the window and smiled at herself as she reminisced the days when her only playmate was the rain; when hot chocolate, blanket, and the love of her mother kept her warm on rainy days;  and her fairy tale books were her only companions. Ohh how she missed those moments! She sipped her cup of hot chocolate. Eyes closed as she devoured the moment; the rain smelled peace and contentment. Nothing beats the comfort of the rain. She would never get tired of the rain..

 

On missing the person you lost forever..

Unforgettable (To Basel)

9. Today is one of those melancholic days when I would sit in the corner and let the memory of you submerge to my very thoughts.

  • You can now stop running after me when you need some consolations or some ego-boosters. You can now stop calling me in the middle of the night when you’re tired or sick or when you are missing me terribly. Because, I won’t be there anymore. Sure, I miss you too. I miss you every day, every moment of the day, every ticking of the clock. I miss you. And I think, I always will. I will always miss the person I thought you were. Missing you is a bittersweet reminder of the things that could have been and the person I lost.To The Man Who I Lost and Lost Me Forever

 

On breaking your trust…

10. In just one fleeting moment, doubt started to surface; it’s like a drop of blank ink plops onto a white sheet of paper and it starts to spread out rapidly, smirching the entire pure paper. One thing and you start to be skeptical in everything he does and says. You start to become a love struck dog sniffing on his clothes and next thing you are tempted to look through his laptop, phone, facebook, and all. But can he blame you? after all woman’s instinct is damned right most of the time.

 

On thanking your mom..

Alla Mia Bella Mamma

11. Thank you for loving me when I am not so lovable. Thank you for lifting me up when I am at my lowest; thank you for being my number one fan. Thank you for raising me with such kindness. Thank you for teaching me not to settle for anything else. Thank you for knowing my worth even the world doesn’t. Thank you for believing in me when I don’t even believe myself. Thank you for staying and I know you’ll never go even the world turns its back on me and most importantly thank you for the unconditional love that you always show everyday.

 

On achieving your goal…

When Reality is Sweeter than Your Dreams

12. No matter how small or big your dreams are, never stop trying and always believe in yourself. Don’t be afraid to fail! Failures are part of growing up. Widen your horizon. Spread your wings and soar high!  Until then you could finally tell that reality is sweeter than your dreams.

 

On telling the story, your story of a brave woman

The Comeback Girl

13. She’s the bravest woman I had ever met. She wore bravery on her skin, she smelled blood from the previous war that she went through. Her scars and bruises were signs of the fury of chaos. The scars and bruises that say “she’s alive and she has survived.” She covered her body with armors;she surrounded herself with barricades and put walls around her; She was determined to shut herself to the world and face tomorrow alone for she had lost the people she treasured the most;the people who had caused her the greatest catastrophe in life that a person could have ever experienced. There was no turning back. Soon enough, she would come back to haunt her offenders. She was the comeback girl….

  • Maybe I don’t need anybody. Perhaps, I haven’t met the man who will sweep me off my feet or I might have met him and I’m still not over him. Maybe I still want the same person who broke my heart or maybe not. Maybe I can’t be a girlfriend to anyone. Or maybe I am single because I am more comfortable being on my own…—Quick Rant: “Why Are You Single?”

 

On finally finding the good in good bye..

For when she is done..

14. When a woman is done waiting and loving you, there is no turning back. You will only be a memory to her and no matter what you do, she would stay adamant. She would no longer believe in your sugarcoated lies. Don’t say that she changed if you are the one who changed her. You changed her for the better and thanks to you! You wasted your chance. You wasted her love. Now, she is ready to explore the world of opportunities, she is ready now to face the world and future without you for she is simply done with you.

  • Never again waste another second, an ounce of energy, milliliter of saliva, and a glimpse of attention into toxic people who only want to get in between your legs. It isn’t wrong to set a high standard in love, set your guard up and if they really want you, they would climb it, no matter what it takes.—2016 Year Ender: Now Signing Off
  • I am not bitter anymore and if one day, our paths will cross again with our new different lives, I could look at you straight in the eyes with a huge smile in my face and with no guilt in my heart but only with a great joy because I knew in my heart that what we had and what I had showed and made you feel were real.Our story had started with “Once upon a time, they were exactly what the other needed…” and tragically ended in “but it’s time for them to part.” Darling, it’s time for us to part.Unsaid Words
  • “You had squeezed the last drop of faith that I had in you until I had at last decided to leave. I loved you and I cared for you too much and that was how I saved the love that I had for you.” Her gaze melted him. “I had loved you from those days that turned into nights and months that turned into years. I had loved you silently afar. Then I realized that you could still love  and miss someone without wanting them back. Until you finally found yourself again and you woke up one day feeling okay. Not totally healed but okay. Then someone came along, and wonderfully took away all the pain and filled the cracks in your heart with deep love and happiness.” She paused and reached his hand, “I wish you found that contentment in your heart. I wish you met someone who would put back the missing piece in your life that would make you stop looking for it from the wrong people. I wish you happiness. And though this is supposed to be the end of us, I am still glad I met you.” Unsaid Words Pt.2

 

On having a closure..

Once upon a time but never a happily ever after

15. I turned on the TV before I plummeted to a deep sentiment but it was too impossible to concentrate on watching when I was feeling excited and agitated all at the same time. I was haunted by our memories. This house that had been our love nest. I saw myself screaming at him, I was totally annoyed and he liked annoying me, I was telling him to bugger off and he was telling me some hard punch line that made me smile in the middle of quarrel. I smiled at the memory. He was always the calm one and I was the nagger one. I wondered how did he put up with me. But that was then, what we had is now hers; not mine anymore.

  • For such a long time, I have left our story opened for I was hoping and waiting that might one day you’ll come along and write the continuation of it. Love, the ink has ran dry, the pages have changed its colors, fast fading through time, and the tear drops on the last few pages have dried and have left only its marks. I have grabbed the pen a few times, thinking if I should do it or not. And at this very moment, I decided to put a full stop in it. And wrote light-heartedly the words -The end…To The Man Who I Lost and Lost Me ForeverTo The Man Who I Lost and Lost Me Forever

 

On welcoming the changes in your life…

Welcome Changes

16. Change is definitely the only constant thing in the world.  The world continues on revolving; the world won’t stop moving just because you are hurt or you don’t want to.  The season changes. You roll the calendar. And you go along with it. You grow older. You become wiser. You change and that means you become maturer.

  • As they say, you can’t see the beauty of a building if you are standing inside of it. To have a clearer view of something, you must look at it afar.
  • Here’s to more adventures and meeting extra-ordinary people.
    Here’s to new beginnings;
    to you and to me;
    Here’s to letting go of the past and earning the lessons in it.
    Here’s to another wonderful year well spent with you..—2016 Year Ender: Now Signing Off
  • “Life is full of uncertainty. There is nothing permanent in this world.  The world is a constant change and you’ve got nothing to do but to get along with it and enjoy what life has to offer.”Stop Thinking What If, Start Thinking What Is

 

On writing to express not to impress..

Talk About Writing

17.  Too many people these days seem to be more focal on impressing or pleasing others by using their flowery/deep vocabularies which do not make sense that sometimes make the idea of the write up diffusive, as a result, the message of the essay becomes ambiguous to the readers. Remember: write to express not to impress.

  • I was scrolling down my blog posts and I just then realized how tremendously sad creature I am. I have then realized that my thoughts are so preoccupied by the past events and people. I think that’s the problem if you are a memory hoarder.You keep the memories with you; happy or sappy. One of the good things of having your own space, you are in charge of everything. No one will tell you what to write or what to say. You can write down your very own thoughts, all your angst, anxieties, and distress in life that seem to magically fade away by just putting them to words especially if you are not a sociable or chatty person in real life.

 

On respecting one’s opinion…

18. But not because we do not share the same opinions or views over some certain issues doesn’t mean you are right and I am wrong. It means we are seeing things in a different perspective; We are entitled in our own opinions, I respect yours and I am not forcing you to respect mine, it only means you are so closed-minded that you refused to consider one’s opinion and that is all up to you.

 

On missing the people who are long gone..

In Loving Memories Of

19. We may not be breathing the same air anymore nor see the same sky but your memories are engraved with us. For the meantime, let us breathe the stimulating air of early November for you. Let us be your senses while you are enjoying the paradise with God where no more pain, chaos, starvation— far far away from the cruel world down here. It has been a rough journey for all of us, hasn’t it? But we are so lucky that once in our lives, you became part of ours just like we became part of yours. There is no Good bye, only see you soon.

  • My heart—it may have loved a thousand times and might have been broken in a million ways; it would always seek for you. And somewhere in the depth of my heart, you are there—easing the pain; serving as my refuge.
  • I didn’t know when did I stop crying nor when would I stop crying. You know the feeling of you wanted to run to the person whom you know could only stop you from crying but you just can’t do that because you’re facing the crucial truth that you won’t see that person nor touch his hand; and the fact that you won’t hear his voice anymore because he’s gone and would never ever come back. Devastating. In one snap, the world that you created with him had collapsed. Just like that.—Send My Love To Heaven
  • I believe that we all have our own journey and destination, and in order for you to get there, you’ve got to stop and you’ve got to rest first because the journey is long, unsure, and exhausting. I understand you for leaving me, I understand that I was just one of the stops that you had happened to passed by and you, the people I loved and cared, were just passers by.Eternally Grateful To All The People Who Walked Away and Stay In My Life

 

On having your best revenge..

The Best Revenge

20. One day, you would root for me and wonder how I am living but one thing is for sure; I won’t grant you the satisfaction of seeing my life falling apart. For this is my revenge, I would live happily and vigorously while you reap the bad seeds that you’ve sowed. As the popular notion said, what goes around comes back around.  All the things you’ve done will catch up to you. 

 

On feeling alive once again..

For the First Time in a Year

21. You held my hand and stroke it slowly as if you were memorizing every lines on it and when our hands intertwined, it felt like my jigsaw puzzle had finally found its missing piece.

  • That someone

That someone who has the most beautiful eyes;

Those eyes that glimmer like a thousand stars when he smiles;

His smile is like a beacon flickering in a dark dark night beckoning you to come home ;

The dark night that you thought was seemingly no end suddenly  glistens;

illuminating the pathway towards him

For he is the candle light that will never melt

The flashlight that do not run out of battery;

For he, himself is the light;

His voice sounds melody in the ears

that could only calm the demons inside you;

His touch brings you shiver down the spine;

the sweet sweet sensation of his kisses causing the butterflies in your stomach to uproar;

For he is that someone who gives you a very reason to stay sane

You just know, it’s him

When the right time comes

Everything around you will be slow mo

As he is turning his back to face you

You would know that he isn’t just that someone; more than someone

He is everything.

  • Walking under the starry starry night; holding hands; feeling the cold breeze of the air of ber season playing with my hair back and fourth; while feeling adamant from everything, for that night was ours. There were a lot of thoughts I didn’t voice out. I was at chaos; the demons inside me were at war then you gave me a back hug and everything was so peaceful, so calming.—Someone
  • Here’s to usHere’s to all the things that we’ve been through;

to all the good and the bad times spent together;

Here’s to nostalgia and euphoria;

to all the times that we have wasted being apart;

Here’s to all the good byes that have been uttered but have never done;

to all the fuck yous that end up to i love yous and i miss yous;

to all the fights and make ups;

Here’s to the year of loneliness and emptiness;

to all the lonely nights spent by weeping;

to all the pail of tears we have shed because of  hurting and missing each other

and here’s to another year of a new hope;

Here’s to another year with you;

Here’s to you my love;

to the amazing love that shines my life;

to my ray of sunlight,

Here’s to us,

Here’s to our love;

here’s to making up to all the things that we should have done;

Here’s to the year of changes;

Here’s to healing, moving on and letting go of all the hatred in our hearts;

Here’s to forgiving ourselves for not being perfect;

Here’s to the year of second chances;

to the fulfillment of our promises;

Till death do we part.

Here’s to a brand new beginning of just you and me.Here’s To Us

  • People said when you see a stranger in your dream, you might have met that person somewhere before. You may not remember it but your subconscious mind does. So there is a tendency that the people we meet on the street may appear in our dreams unconsciously.Perhaps, have we met before?The Man Who Leaped Through My Dreams
  • Lover, you are may be somewhere staring at the same night sky and wishing for a shooting star to cross the dark sky illuminated by the moon. You would smile because you know that you don’t believe on those sort of things but then you enjoy seeing extra-ordinary things;while I am lying down on the roof; arm at the back of my head, tracing the constellation of stars through my forefinger—wondering what are you like and where are  you and what are you doing? Even though we are in different places perhaps at a different time zone too, our minds and hearts are connected. The stars above us would decide when will our paths cross but how would you know if it is I already? It is when you look at my eyes and see things  just as the same as the beauty of stars in dim light that you adore in the night sky;look at the palms of my hands and you will see your name traced in it. That’s the time the universe, the stars, and the planets will conspire to help us find each other. The heaven and earth will be finally aligned. The universe  will stare at us in awe because finally after a long journey, we have at last found our destination.Lover, do something. Find me. Please find me.The Man Who Leaped Through My Dreams

 

On Frienship 

To My Friend Who Began To Drift Away

22. There are some special people who will come into your life and will stay there permanently. Those people who will stick with you through thick and thin, through prosperity and impoverishment. Those people who will stay true to you and aren’t afraid to tell you bluntly how pain in the ass you are but still pick you and lift you up from your downfall. You know what they’re called? Real Friends.

  • A true friend is a light in the dark. She’s a kind of person who will hit you real hard in the head and tell you bluntly how you are messing your life with shitty people. She won’t shower you with compliments then talk shit behind your back. She’ll do that in front of you. And most importantly, she would stay with you even if the world leaves, she will always be there, serving as your light in your dark days.—2016 Year Ender: Now Signing Off

 

And lastly, on moving forward…

23. It’s okay to weep and wallow for the people who are long gone

It’s okay to be sad,

It’s okay to be angry,

It’s okay to cry,

It’s okay to still love the person who hurt us and to want another shot,

It’s okay to lick your own wounds in the middle of the night,

It’s okay to cry buckets of tears,

It’s okay to realize that the problem is not you,

It’s okay to let go of the things that are hurting you,

It’s okay to move on,

It’s okay to stop thinking what if,

and it’s totally okay to start thinking what is.

It’s okay to say yes to new adventures;

It’s okay to lose and find yourself back again.

It’s okay to be happy,

It’s okay to look forward and never look back…

It’s okay… You’ll be okay..

Believe me..

I’ve been there and done that…—Stop Thinking What If, Start Thinking What Is

  • I may be stubborn, obnoxious, temperamental, and pain in the ass at times, but I am that person who you can hold on to, you’ve got nothing to worry because I would cure your skinned knees when life knocks you down. I may have taken you for granted most of the time but I’ll be with you. I can’t guarantee you a smooth sailing journey; our journey might be full of humps and bumps, storms, and catastrophe, it’s frightening but I can guarantee you that I would still be there. I would never ever give up on you, just like how you didn’t give up on me.Eternally Grateful To All The People Who Walked Away and Stay In My Life

 

See that, see how awful mind you have. Our journey is still long. We still have a lot of paths to take together so hang in there. And if you feel lonely, sad, melancholic, meditate for a while and you’ll find me. I mean, you are just 22 turning 23, it’s okay if you haven’t figured out your whole life yet. You still have long years ahead of you. Stop stressing yourself or overthink about the things and people who aren’t worthy of your time and attention.

Lastly, thank you for coming this far; for staying sane, and for returning back to me. Thank you for listening and paying attention to me now. Never think that you are alone, I’m just here. I am you and you is me. 

I got your back,

Always,

Self

Writings

Thank you to all the people who left in my life and make it wonderful and thank you to all the people who stay and make it even more beautiful..

Stay if you want to. Leave if you must go.

What more could I say about the people who chose to walk away from my life? The door is always opened, to begin with. You are free to go.

I wish you a safe journey ahead of you. I believe that we all have our own journey and destination, and in order for you to get there, you’ve got to stop and you’ve got to rest first because the journey is long, unsure, and exhausting. I understand you for leaving me, I understand that I was just one of the stops that you had happened to passed by and you were just passers by.

Thank you for coming.. I wish I made you feel safe. I wish I made you feel like home, and how I wish I really was. I wish you could have stayed longer. I wish you would stay permanently and realized that I was your destination.

But…I’d be selfish for wanting you to stay and I don’t want to cage you nor stop you from growing. And begging you to leave is the least thing I want to do. Stay if you want to. Leave if you must go. No matter how much I hate to see you go, I have my door’s closed and bridges burned;walls are high, impossible to climb; barricades are heaps and strong, no way you could enter; my heart’s chained. I’ve done these because we must move on with our lives; because we couldn’t be stuck in one place forever. We grow. We change. We move on. We learn. We heal. And we love again. Until we finally find our destination. We’ve got bruises, scars, and bandages—proof that we struggled a lot to have reached this point.

And I also believe that in this longest journey called life. We’ve got some people who would be with us through our entire journey.  They might stop and we are left alone but people who are meant to be with us would always find a way no matter how complicated the maze is, even if it is filled with thorns and snakes, probably monsters too and survive anyway. Because, you are simply worth all the cuts, the stitches, and burns.

To all the people who are willing to stay and take this long journey with me, an infinite gratitude because I know, how tough it is to be with me. I have mood swings. I get irritated easily. I admit, there are times my attitude sucks, I tend to be selfish and self-centered. I have my shortcomings. I am imperfect. But thank you for staying. You can just choose to leave, but you choose to stay and be with me through my entire journey anyway. I may be stubborn, obnoxious, temperamental, and pain in the ass at times, but I am that person who you can hold on to, you’ve got nothing to worry because I would cure your skinned knees when life knocks you down. I may have taken you for granted most of the time but I’ll be with you. I can’t guarantee you a smooth sailing journey; our journey might be full of humps and bumps, storms, and catastrophe, it’s frightening but I can guarantee you that I would still be there. I would never ever give up on you, just like how you didn’t give up on me.

And if one day comes, you wake up tired and choose to leave my side, know that I understand. I understand. Don’t worry about me. For just like how many times I got my skinned knees when I was learning to ride my first bicycle; I’d get used to it. I would get used to your absence, just like how I got used to your presence. Let me hug you for the last time, so I could whisper to your ears, “Thank you for staying. It’s time for you to leave. Have a safe journey..”

“If we’d never met, I think I would have known my life wasn’t complete. And I would have wandered the world in search of you, even if I didn’t know who I was looking for.”

—Nicholas Sparks, The Longest Ride

Random Thoughts, Writings

Stop Thinking What If, Start Thinking What Is

“Life is full of uncertainty. There is nothing permanent in this world.  The world is a constant change and you’ve got nothing to do but to get along with it and enjoy what life has to offer.”

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night feeling paralyzed? Because you finally know what a fucking idiot you are for wanting to go back to the place that broke you; for wanting to reconcile with the person who left you hanging; for wanting to put back the pieces even that means hurting yourself again. Crazy as it sounds but it’s crazy and stupid, yes. A sudden thought suddenly pop into your head. A sudden thought that is like a cold water pouring into you. A sudden awakening thought that goes “Why should I try harder to be with someone who is the main reason of the miseries I went through? I would no longer be the one who constantly making an effort, where in the first place, this is what he wanted. If someone wants to be a part of my life, he’d done anything to be with me. No ifs and no buts.” A relationship is a give and take. You can’t be the one who always gives and receives nothing in return. For some, they call it unconditional love. But for me, I call it martyrdom.You can’t wipe his ass every time he shits. If you know what I mean.

As they said, there is nothing permanent in this world. The world is changing and we’re designed flexible and adaptable, we get along with the change until it changed you. Your perspective would eventually change; you get to think more apprehensively. You get to realized what is good and what is damaging for you, and over the long haul, you’d choose to let go and hold on to the things that could and would make you happier. You get wiser. And once you have tasted the real freedom and happiness, you become unstoppable. We can’t be stuck on something that isn’t here anymore. Learn to move forward, even if it’s little or baby steps, it would make a huge difference. Why, yes to adventures!

Just like Bruno Mars says on one of his songs, I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me. Leave the past behind me, today my life begins .A whole new world is waiting it’s mine for the taking. I know I can make it today my life begins. We all have our choices in life. Life isn’t complicated, as they say, it is us who make our lives complicated. If you want to be happy then be, if you want to live in a miserable life, then be.You can live your life happily and set your own rules or you can chain yourself from something that you can no longer have. Either way, it is all up to you to choose.

It’s okay to weep and wallow for the people who are long gone

It’s okay to be sad,

It’s okay to be angry,

It’s okay to cry,

It’s okay to still love the person who hurt us and to want another shot,

 

It’s okay to lick your own wounds in the middle of the night,

It’s okay to cry buckets of tears,

It’s okay to realize that the problem is not you,

It’s okay to let go of the things that are hurting you,

It’s okay to move on,

It’s okay to stop thinking what if,

and it’s totally okay to start thinking what is.

It’s okay to say yes to new adventures;

It’s okay to lose and find yourself back again.

It’s okay to be happy,

It’s okay to look forward and never look back…

It’s okay… You’ll be okay..

Believe me..

I’ve been there and done that…

Writings

More than a pretty face

“No matter how beautiful you are and how expensive your clothes are if your personality is a shit then you are a shit. It doesn’t matter how attractive you look. It’s the personality that makes one person outshines the rest.”

With the advent of technology,  our lives have started to change as the years passed by,  and this includes our standard in beauty. Nowadays, if you have a pointed nose, wide eyes, plump lips, and overall a sexy body—you are beautiful. That is why, a lot of women consider of going under the knife in achieving a beautiful perfect look. I mean who doesn’t want that, right?! Not to mention cosmetics; cosmetics should enhance your confidence not a cover up for your hideous personality.  Looks can be deceiving at times but you can never hide your ugly personality. It isn’t something that a make-up could hide.

 I have known people who can only offer their physical appearance but totally rotten inside. As you get older, you stop looking for a person who only has a pretty face.But rather, you start looking for a person who has a strong personality, a good heart, and a kind soul who would fit with yours.

Beauty isn’t based on someone’s skin color, race, or appearance. Beauty comes from within.I guess we should stop judging someone based on his/her appearance and it’s about time that we should focus on enhancing our inner beauty rather than being addicted with our looks because beauty fades. It’s always the personality that lasts long and what makes you beautiful inside and out.

To all the young girls out there who are victims of society’s cruel beauty standards…..

You look at the mirror and we see different things. You sigh because you can’t be as pretty as your favorite celebrity, I sigh because you think that way. You look again at the mirror and tears of disappointment start to roll down on that exquisite face, you think that the journey ends there. I look at the mirror and I see a beautiful extra-ordinary woman who has a bright future ahead of her. Darling, wipe your tears and show the world what you are capable of. You are more than a pretty face. You don’t have to starve yourself just to be as sexy as your favorite Victoria’s secret model; tell you what, having a sexy mind is way better than having a sexy body.

You are a diamond. No one can take away your shine. Always remember that. Let go of the thought that you can’t be what you want just because the society taught you that being beautiful is everything. Having a kind soul my dear, that’s what makes you beautiful.

Writings

“You will never find happiness in the sorrows of another woman.” -Dr. Amari Soul

“My dear Wrong Woman…
You will never find peace in the arms of another woman’s man.
What you will find is yourself one day in that woman’s shoes,
feeling the same heartache and the same feelings of betrayal that you caused her when he one day does the same thing to you.

“You will never find happiness in the sorrows of another woman. In time, her sorrows will become your own.” -Mr. Amari Soul

“I am so happy that you are finally gone. I have him fully. I have his full attention. All his free times are mine. He is always ready to pick up the phone in just two to three rings, and one call, he’s right here beside me as fast as the flash of lightning. I couldn’t ask for more! You bitch! Continue living in a miserable world. He’s mine. Only mine. You’re just one of his doormats. I told you so. Leech!”

So you got him. He’s all yours. So what’s your problem?  Live busily, happily, and humbly. Rejoicing in somebody’s heartbreak would give you satisfaction in a short while but soon enough all the burdens and heartaches that she has experienced would be yours. If you think that your life is as bright as the broad daylight and hers is as dark as a stormy night, just remember that the world is rotating. What goes around comes back around.

The most pathetic person in the world is someone who can’t find the serenity to mind her own fucking business after getting what she wants— seems like getting the man she has been desiring for a long time isn’t enough that she still have the need to stalk every move of the ex and retaliate afterwards. Because no matter how much she denies it, she couldn’t hide the pathetic truth that is stirring on her face that no matter how much she twists and turns her body after a long tiring quake with him, she would never ever have his heart and his loyalty. In other words, you are pathetic. Because if you are secured with the relationship that you have, you won’t ever do such vicious things in the first place.That is the curse that you’re going to carry for the rest of your life being the wrong woman.

Oftentimes, women put their paws up when they feel threatened towards other women which is pretty normal. We are taught to  take care of what we have and never let anybody to take that away from us. We, humans, are possessive by nature, we automatically think that we own that person because we have an intimate relationship with them. But the thing is that we don’t have any rights to own anybody. Owning a person can lead into possessiveness and in a worst case, selfishness. In a relationship, we tend to be possessive towards our significant others. That is fine, what is wrong is that your possessiveness eats you alive that turn you into a jealous and insecure person. A healthy relationship should make you feel secure. An unhealthy relationship makes you anxious.Nevertheless, the best kind of love is to love someone without hurting and stomping others feeling.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Personal, Writings

Quick Rant: “Why Are You Single?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Whattt?! Why are you single? I mean, look at you, you’re pretty, smart, and bad ass..”

“I’m single cause I can be single..”

“No, you can’t. No one can be single for a long time.”

“Well, I can. A lot of people can.”

I am not probably the only one who is tired of hearing these questions all the time. Like, hello? what the fuck is wrong with being single? I chose to be single that’s why. I don’t need anyone who will constantly give me a headache. I will no longer grab a rock and hit it in my own head. I’m single because I have learned. I won’t waste any seconds to be with the wrong person. Some are asking, “I can’t believe it. A woman can’t be single for a long time.” Are you kidding? Seriously? I’m not gonna enter in a relationship just for the sake of sex, if that’s what you want to pertain.  I won’t settle just because I’m comfortable having you around otherwise I would have lived with my friends cause I’m more comfortable having them around. Stop asking silly questions, not because we are single doesn’t mean we are lonely. You might be in a relationship, but are you happy? Can you answer that question real fast without any signs of hesitation? Newsflash, not because you are in a relationship does’t mean you’re happy and being single doesn’t make us sad neither.

I don’t understand why some women are okay with being treated like doormats. I don’t think you would get my point but you weren’t just born to be anybody’s doormat or accessories or something they need when they need some ego-boosters. You aren’t an object. You belong to no one. You belong to yourself. I belong to myself. Before he comes along, you have had your own identity and darling, if he doesn’t treat you right, retreat. The worst part of martyrdom is to stay with someone and allow yourself to be his doormat in spite of knowing the fact that he doesn’t and would never love you; that he is just staying because you are good to his ego but when you look at his eyes, he sees a different person wishing you were her. And too bad, for the sake of having a companion, you are okay with that. But once you finally know your worth, you would stop chasing the love that you don’t deserve. You are a pearl in the midst of chaos. Still beautiful. Unbreakable. Worthy.

Why am I single?

Maybe I don’t need anybody. Perhaps, I haven’t met the man who will sweep me off my feet or I might have met him and I’m still not over him. Maybe I still want the same person who broke my heart or maybe not. Maybe I can’t be a girlfriend to anyone. Or maybe I am single because I am more comfortable being on my own…

jess-cat-single