Personal

In God’s Perfect Timing

One of the most beautiful bible verses I have ever read. My favorite verse to read when things aren’t going my way; when things get pretty tough; and when things get out of control. I always remember what the bible has said,“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.”-Ecclesiastes 3:11

I am not a religious person. I don’t go to church every Sunday. I sometimes forget to pray at night. But I believe in God and I have a strong faith in him. I may not see him but I could feel his love for me. The passed years were challenging or perhaps, a turning point for me to return back to him. I cried myself at night and I started questioning him about the bad things that were happening to me. I had been a bad girl, otherwise, he was punishing me. The kind of punishment that parents do for their kids to learn their lessons. I was blinded by my emotions. I had been selfish that was why I did things that I weren’t supposed to do. I cried and cried and turned back to him. He opened my eyes for the things that were blinding me. It feels like a speck in my eyes have been finally removed. I know that I am not the only one who’s struggling. We all struggles in different things and different ways. But  if God could talk, he would have said “My child, I will leave you alone for now. This isn’t your punishment but rather a reward. I want you to grow as an individual. I want you to learn how to stand on your own feet and stand on your own ground. I didn’t break your heart when I took the people you love but rather, I am making your heart resilient. Do not feel lonely. Do not be weary. Do not think I have abandoned you when things don’t go your way. I have my own plans for you. Plans to prosper and to flourish you and not to destroy you. Trust me. I have made everything beautiful in my perfect timing. Trust my timing. Trust me, my child.”

I had been in serious long term relationships before. At 15, I thought I would marry my first love when the time was right, I mean I could have but didn’t because he left me wander on this world alone and went somewhere peaceful. At 18, My boyfriend for two good years and I promised to get married after a year, there wasn’t any formal proposal or anything, it was a promise and yes after a year, he fulfilled his promise but not to me, he eventually ended up marrying another woman. Apart from those heartbreaks, I had fallen in love again who I thought was the one. He was perfect, too good to be true, he was like a sweet dream turned into a nightmare. You see, none of my past relationships worked out. But I still believe that things didn’t work out because they weren’t supposed to. Because God loves me this much, that he took me away from the wrong people. He loves me this much for lending me these people temporarily, they are his instruments for me to come stronger and have my heart resilient rather than broken. For the meantime, I am giving my heart a break. I won’t rush into things and won’t jump in a decision that I would regret later on. I will wait for the guy that God has made for me. I am learning to trust his perfect timing because he has made everything beautiful in its time.

I am an imperfect woman loved by a perfect God. 

There is a season for everything,

and a time for every event under heaven: a

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to uproot what was planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal

a time to tear down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to scatter stones, and a time to gather stones;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to search, and a time to give up searching;

a time to keep, and a time to discard;

a time to tear, and a time to mend;

a time to be silent, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

 Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Thank you God for your amazing grace. Thank you for healing me, and thank you for giving me the wisdom to understand your plans for me. I don’t mind waiting. I know that you have a lot in store for me. And I couldn’t wait for the time you’ll lead me to the one that I’ve been praying for. I don’t need handsome. I don’t need rich. I need honest. I need a loyal one and the one who could lead our family more into you. May your will be done.

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Personal, Random Thoughts

A Letter to My Next Love

Hi.

I don’t know you and you probably don’t know me yet or perhaps, you are just there sitting right under my nose. But I’m writing this letter for you anyway… 

First of all, I want you to know that I am a dangerous woman. I am warning you first thing, I want you to be aware what kind of trouble you will enter in. I am a monster. I am not a typical woman you have messed around with. I always have my claws up. Ready to devour you whole. I’ll gnaw you as if you are a peace of meat. I’ll drown you in my deepest thoughts. And I’ll kill you in all passionate ways I know.

You are definitely not my first love, I’ve fallen in love many times and have given some pieces of me from the wrong people who arrived and it took me a long time before I regained the pieces I’ve given away.

I don’t get lonely these days anymore knowing the fact that I will meet you too soon. I will meet the man who is prefect for his imperfections; the man who will lighten my dim lit world; the man who I have been waiting and praying for. There were times, I thought I’ve seen you with the previous loves I’ve had. I’ve mistaken several people as you but in the end, they appeared to be my navigators for they’re the ones who navigate the way to you and I couldn’t thank them enough because losing them and walking away from them is a few more steps closer to you. The mere thoughts of you give me warmth in the cold summer nights. That is why, I’m keeping myself unavailable. I won’t settle from anything less. I won’t mistake loneliness or infatuation as love anymore. I keep this wide space in my heart for you. I’ve cleaned up the mess of the previous chaos that had been living in it for some time. And you are very much welcome to enter and stay as you like. Feel free to stay permanently.

I am hoping that you are my last.

And I hope you are okay with that.

Personal

The Man Who Leaped Through My Dreams

People said when you see a stranger in your dream, you might have met that person somewhere before. You may not remember it but your subconscious mind does. So there is a tendency that the people we meet on the street may appear in our dreams unconsciously.

Perhaps, have we met before?

I have dreamed about you countless times. I saw you standing at the altar while I was walking in the aisle. I saw your pretty smile but I couldn’t remember your face. All I know is that you are wonderful. There were times I saw you beside me, cuddling me while uttering the words “I LOVE YOU”, I remembered I smiled at you and you held me closer but again I only see your familiar smile.I woke up and try to remember how you look like: You have a nice soft black hair, beautiful eyes, pretty smile, you have a good built body enough to crash me into pieces, and  you have loving arms and gentle hands that are promising me that you wouldn’t hurt me, you have those warm hugs that could calm the raging confusion inside me.

But who are you?

I slowly opened my eyes and found myself smiling strangely. I’ve been having this weird dreams lately. You are in it but I don’t know you. I am actually a kind of person who tries to find a scientific explanation or maybe just a valid explanation to my weird dreams because I believe that it has something to do with our waking life, call me old-fashioned or weird or superstitious, you name it. I don’t care. Take for instance, I sometimes dream of swimming underwater which apparently means I am completely submerged in my own feelings; and I oftentimes dream about zombies too, according to dreammoods.com, when you dream of zombies that basically means you are out of touch; that you are just going through the motions of daily living, etc; which I could totally relate into my waking life: I am lost not geographically but emotionally lost..

But peculiarly one day, the rhythm of my dreams have changed….

There were times, I know I dreamed of you but I couldn’t remember but there was a strange feeling, there were also times that I saw your face clearly but the next morning, I couldn’t remember you at all. You are so vague but the emotions are so clear.

Who are you?

I really do believe that you are my soulmate… Do I sound funny? Do I sound like a hopeless romantic? Maybe you are right. I will tell you something about me, I have been broken before, many times actually, fell down and stood up eventually, got hurt and healed, but you know what? I never lose my faith in love, I never lose my faith that might one day you’ll come along and extend your hand to me and tell me, “You are home now.” 

I believe that one day, I would get the chance to see you right in front of me. But how would I know if it is you already? My heart knew you before; I know my heart would recognize your pretty smile, it is not just an ordinary pretty smile but it is a kind of smile that stirs down my soul. And how would you know if it is I already? Look into my eyes, and your soul would know that I was that girl in your dreams; the girl with the sad eyes.

 

Lover, you are may be somewhere staring at the same night sky and wishing for a shooting star to cross the dark sky illuminated by the moon. You would smile because you know that you don’t believe on those sort of things but then you enjoy seeing extra-ordinary things;while I am lying down on the roof; arm at the back of my head, tracing the constellation of stars through my forefinger—wondering what are you like and where are  you and what are you doing? 

Even though we are in different places perhaps at a different time zone too, our minds and hearts are connected. The stars above us would decide when will our paths cross but how would you know if it is I already? It is when you look at my eyes and see things  just as the same as the beauty of stars in dim light that you adore in the night sky;look at the palms of my hands and you will see your name traced in it. That’s the time the universe, the stars, and the planets will conspire to help us find each other. The heaven and earth will be finally aligned. The universe  will stare at us in awe because finally after a long journey, we have at last found our destination.

Lover, do something. Find me. Please find me.

Personal, Writings

Quick Rant: “Why Are You Single?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Whattt?! Why are you single? I mean, look at you, you’re pretty, smart, and bad ass..”

“I’m single cause I can be single..”

“No, you can’t. No one can be single for a long time.”

“Well, I can. A lot of people can.”

I am not probably the only one who is tired of hearing these questions all the time. Like, hello? what the fuck is wrong with being single? I chose to be single that’s why. I don’t need anyone who will constantly give me a headache. I will no longer grab a rock and hit it in my own head. I’m single because I have learned. I won’t waste any seconds to be with the wrong person. Some are asking, “I can’t believe it. A woman can’t be single for a long time.” Are you kidding? Seriously? I’m not gonna enter in a relationship just for the sake of sex, if that’s what you want to pertain.  I won’t settle just because I’m comfortable having you around otherwise I would have lived with my friends cause I’m more comfortable having them around. Stop asking silly questions, not because we are single doesn’t mean we are lonely. You might be in a relationship, but are you happy? Can you answer that question real fast without any signs of hesitation? Newsflash, not because you are in a relationship does’t mean you’re happy and being single doesn’t make us sad neither.

I don’t understand why some women are okay with being treated like doormats. I don’t think you would get my point but you weren’t just born to be anybody’s doormat or accessories or something they need when they need some ego-boosters. You aren’t an object. You belong to no one. You belong to yourself. I belong to myself. Before he comes along, you have had your own identity and darling, if he doesn’t treat you right, retreat. The worst part of martyrdom is to stay with someone and allow yourself to be his doormat in spite of knowing the fact that he doesn’t and would never love you; that he is just staying because you are good to his ego but when you look at his eyes, he sees a different person wishing you were her. And too bad, for the sake of having a companion, you are okay with that. But once you finally know your worth, you would stop chasing the love that you don’t deserve. You are a pearl in the midst of chaos. Still beautiful. Unbreakable. Worthy.

Why am I single?

Maybe I don’t need anybody. Perhaps, I haven’t met the man who will sweep me off my feet or I might have met him and I’m still not over him. Maybe I still want the same person who broke my heart or maybe not. Maybe I can’t be a girlfriend to anyone. Or maybe I am single because I am more comfortable being on my own…

jess-cat-single

Personal

Send My Love To Heaven

One..two.three..four..five..five years have flown so fast but it still feels like yesterday. Though the wounds of the past have finally healed or just so I thought. There are still times that I allow myself to drift away from the reality and live with your memories and try to picture them out at the back of my mind; picturing them as vivid as I could. In that way, I feel like I’ve time traveled to the first time I laid my eyes on you to the day we became official ,to all the first things that we did together, the kisses, the hugs, the laughter, the dreams and the future we shared, then the goodbyes that had been uttered but had never done because you would always come back to me and I would always come back to you. But life happened and time interfered…

“Whoever said that loss gets easier with time was a liar. Here’s what really happens: The spaces between the times you miss them grow longer. Then, when you do remember to miss them again, it’s still with a stabbing pain to the heart. And you have guilt. Guilt because it’s been too long since you missed them last.”
― Kristin O’Donnell Tubb, The 13th Sign

Five years have passed and yet I could still remember the sound of your voice. I have memorized all your facial features, and of your body, the way you move, the way you wrinkled your eyebrows when you were annoyed, the way your lips curved when you smiled at something silly, and the sound of your contagious laughter would always be tattooed at the corner of my mind. My heart—it may have loved a thousand times and might have been broken in a million ways; it would always seek for you. And somewhere in the depth of my heart, you are there—easing the pain; serving as my refuge.

Casting my mind back at the year December 2011.

It was one of those December chilly nights. I took a deep breath and inhaled the invigorating scent of December air  while the wind was blowing through my hair. I walked around the street and noticed the festivity of the surrounding. In spite of the jubilant Christmas decorations, the enticing smell of bibingka and puto bumbong, the church bell ringing, and the joyous Christmas carols playing in each houses, I felt like I wasn’t t belong here, I had fallen into oblivion. I walked passed the children who were singing christmas carols in the nearby house until I finally reached home. I went straight to  bed and looked at the time. 7pm. My family wasn’t home yet. I couldn’t remember where they had gone at that time. My eyelids had started to feel heavy, I had them closed for a bit after a non-stop crying all throughout the week. With a heavy heart, I fell asleep. In my dream, we were at the sofa and I was lying on your lap. We were having our usual conversation and out of the blue, I uttered, “Don’t leave me.” You smiled and didn’t say a thing, but instead, you bent over and gave me a peck on the lips. I opened my eyes and tried to summon myself back in the reality and started to sob like a little child for your touch was so real, the warmth of your body seemed familiar. I didn’t know when did I stop crying nor when would I stop crying. You know the feeling of you wanted to run to the person whom you know could only stop you from crying but you just can’t do that because you’re facing the crucial truth that you won’t see that person nor touch his hand; and the fact that you won’t hear his voice anymore because he’s gone and would never ever come back. Devastating. In one snap, the world that you created with him had collapsed. Just like that.

I reached for my nokia phone and started to reread our last conversations. You said, we had to part ways for a while because the situation had worsen and so I asked, “…di mo na ba ako mahal?” 

“Wag kasing puro ako, nanjan yung friends mo, family, school, wag puro ako. Hayaan mo muna ako. Wag mo isipin na hindi kita mahal. Mahal na mahal kita, di mo lang alam ikaw ang bukang-bibig ko……….”

“Mahal na mahal kita pero ayaw satin ng panahon……”

Those messages were sent exactly a month before you left. Thinking it on the other way round, it just felt surreal that maybe you had a premonition and you’re trying to ready me for your permanent leaving. Though I know that death is inevitable, I wasn’t yet ready to let you go and I don’t think I would ever be. Life after you was  uncertain. Everything became uncertain and vague.

I had read all our conversations for the nth time. Reliving the moment. And regretting the things that I should have done when I still had the time. I should have told you to stay. I should have gone to you. I should have hugged you tightly. I should have taken a lot of pictures with you. I should have told you how much I love you and that no matter what happen, I would still hold on to you. I should have showed you how much you meant to me. I should have…… but it’s too late.

“There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald

I have loved again after you and I would always love and love but that doesn’t mean I  loved you any less. You have occupied a large space in my heart and maybe that’s why I always look for you to other people. I would always remember you and if I honestly would have given a chance to choose someone to be with, I would always choose you in a hundred lifetimes just to be sure that we would have the right time for us and at the right place. Tonight, I looked up at the night sky and uttered the words, good bye for now my love. I would never ever forget you.

P.S, I will always love you..

Personal, Writings

Once upon a time but never a happily ever after

Today, I choose to stay in bed all day and lock myself in my dark room. Today, I choose to lick my own wounds and cry it all out. I will weep and wail until it hurts no more. I could still smell the alcohol in my breath that I secretly hid under my bed and gulped it all last night. The sunlight passes through the window blinds.. I stare at the ceiling. I could hear the cluttering of the utensils in the kitchen, I suppose it’s my grandma, along with it, is the tick tock of the clock, in spite of those sounds, I can hear my own heart thumping loudly while ugly tears are streaming down my face. I look at the clock and it is 10 am already. At this very moment, the man who brought back the smile on my face and turned my sky blue again is getting married.

Pao and I had been together for 2 years and a half. We started as  friends though I knew for him, I was more than a friend. I met him when I had my vacation to my cousin’s place. I was a fresh graduate then, and I was still grieving from my ex who had just passed away.

Pao is 3 years older than me and he always looked after me when my cousin who happened to live alone in her own apartment had needed to go to work. Basically, we were group of friends. I couldn’t count on my fingers how many were we. I was supposed to have my vacation for only two weeks but it was extended because my newly found friends were so fun to be with. And they were a huge help for me to move on with my miserable life after the death of my ex, somehow. Within those day, weeks, and months of being together, our relation had bosom. I reckon the beginning of our relationship was full of humps and bumps. Perhaps what they said was right, I was lonely and I needed someone to be by my side and Pao was there. He was there to hold me when I was crying in the middle of the night because I had a nightmare again. He was there to comfort me when I was drowning from melancholy and anxiety. He never failed to make me laugh.He always left me teary-eyed every time he said his punchlines or weird jokes again. He was such a funny guy, that was maybe the reason why I fell for him. I had no intention to fall in love again after my ex had passed away but fate had its other plan for me, I guess.

As the time passed by, everything was going smoothly between the two of us. We were both okay with our families. We loved each other dearly and we were inseparable ones. I am not saying that our relationship was perfect, most of the time you would see us screaming at each other. Though Pao was sedulous and a type of person you could always count on especially with household chores, he didn’t have a stable job. Until I decided to work overseas. At the beginning, he opposed my decision but I was adamant. I was determined to travel. I admit, half of the reasons why I decided to travel was to be away from him for a while. Pao was so loving, he loved me so much and there was no doubt in that but in some way, it was suffocating. I wanted to widen my horizon and meet new people; to explore the big world of opportunities. I was a big dreamer and he wasn’t. He seemed to be contented on what he had and that usually made me so irritated. We often talked about our future. He even asked me to marry him after my 2 -year contract, and I agreed for I thought why not? we’re going to end up with each other in no time.

I eventually left the country. I was so drunk with the idea of having a happy life and independency that I took him for granted. Our conversations became shorter until there was none. Frankly speaking, it was I who chose to distant myself to him. He sent me tons of messages and I didn’t respond any of them. My friends and family started to bombard me with messages and calls asking what was wrong because Pao was getting hysterical. I didn’t care. I lost my affection. At that time, I truly understood why a lot of long distance relationships don’t work. Finally, after few months of chasing and fleeing, we broke up. I was left confused and he was left hanging. He continuously sent me messages but I left them unanswered. After the break up, Pao drowned himself with alcohol, crying and weeping every day and night. Wicked me! Instead of pitying him, I was furious because instead of fixing himself and find a decent job there he was, drowning himself with alcohol as if it would help him for me to come back. All I wanted was for him to dream a little bigger, it’s not because it would benefit me but because it’s for his own good whether we end up or not at least he has a career.

After almost a year, I heard nothing from him until I had learned from my family and friend that he had a girlfriend. I shrugged my shoulder and tried not to be affected. “Good for him.” I just said after few more months, I heard from my mom that he got his girlfriend pregnant. I was bitterly dismayed. He was supposed to fix himself and proved me that he could be a responsible husband to me and a father to our future children. How could he?! if he still hadn’t figured himself out. How could he support his future family if until now he hasn’t had a stable job enough for a living?! Wasn’t he thinking straight?! I calmed myself and sat down for a while, trying to absorb all the shock. When I thought things profoundly, I realized that it was all my fault, It was I who had fallen out of love. It was I who abandoned him when I was supposed to be the one who encouraged him to be at his best. It was I who chose to end things between us. It was I who had an affair. It was I who had to be blamed..

One year had passed and I returned back to Philippines. I resigned to my job because of some certain reasons. After a week of staying in my hometown. I decided to go back to Laguna and visit my friends even if it meant seeing him again, perhaps could have a proper closure at the same time. In spite of my mom’s strong disagreement of I, coming back there. She told me, he was getting married already and there was no way I could stop it. I was angry about her remarks, I told her I wouldn’t come there to see him and stop the wedding, such things won’t happen, I’d pay a visit because of my friends that I had missed.

While I was on our way to Laguna, my cousin who was driving the car, and I at the back of the passengers seat. The memories of Pao, our sweet memories started to overwhelm me. It was 6am already and the sun started to beam its rays passing through the windows and it blinded me for a moment when I gazed at it directly. I looked at the road that was so familiar. When we were finally approaching the apartment, a sense of nostalgia hit me off. My cousins had their own scheduled at that day. It was Monday, Mariz needed to go to work and Beth needed to go to school. I was left alone. I looked around the house, nothing had changed except there were some furniture added and it was messier than before. I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and sat down on the sofa. I turned on the TV before I plummeted to a deep sentiment but it was too impossible to concentrate on watching when I was feeling excited and agitated all at the same time. I was haunted by our memories. This house that had been our love nest. I saw myself screaming at him, I was totally annoyed and he liked annoying me, I was telling him to bugger off and he was telling me some hard punch line that made me smile in the middle of quarrel. I smiled at the memory. He was always the calm one and I was the nagger one. I wondered how did he put up with me. But that was then, what we had is now hers; not mine anymore.

The night after, I finally met him. I already expected it,however, I was nervous as hell to face him. I wasn’t even sure if I had a face to show to him and to the rest of our friends. We talked and chatted for how many hours, trying to catch up all the things I had missed while I was away. I stared at him and I caught him taking glances at me. The feelings were still there, I knew that. Our friends gave us time to talk. We talked outside. We stared at each other and he broke down. He cried then sobbed. He was sobbing and I knew why. My heart ached to see him on that state. He hugged me and I hugged him back tightly as if we owned the world while he kept saying how sorry he was and how asshole he was for he didn’t know what to do when I left him, he was completely lost and there’s this girl whom he had met somewhere. I would never forget that night, he told me that there’s none he ever dreamed of, it was only me who was his very dream but I have my own dreams and he totally understood. It moved me.

I rubbed his back and told him to hush and that it was okay and we couldn’t do anything about it for it happened already. That time, I was sobbing already. The idea of him, getting married with another girl made me moan. Regret swallowed me whole. But what was the point of regretting when all is said and done? He told me that he still loves me and he doesn’t know what to do and it seemed like the most sensible thing to do was to marry her. I told him that he doesn’t need to marry her if he doesn’t love her but I knew with his answers, deep down his heart, he wanted too and it pained me but I couldn’t do anything. Who am I anyway? I was a part of his past now and she was the present and the future. Who am I to take him away from the innocent tiny creature of his very own flesh? I am nothing but a person in his past.He told me that he’s going to get married at the end of the month and how scared he was. He kept on muttering things like how he missed me, and still loving me all this time but it was too late because he had done a mistake. He has now tied in a responsibility. A lifetime responsibility—being a husband and a father.

His wedding day has come and with a broken heart, I have to accept the fact that our story has ended. He was once my once upon a time but never will be my happily ever after..It’s funny how I always end up grieving in every relationship that I’ve had. I believe that one day, I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine again. But not today and definitely not tomorrow either…

Personal

When Reality is Sweeter than Your Dreams

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What is your dream? What do you wanna be in the future? 

These are just some of the questions I’d love to ask every time I meet young children. What is so satisfying is to know that at the early age, they have already known what do they want to do in their lives—and that leaves a genuine smile on my face. The best thing about my job is that it is a give and take; you give them the appropriate knowledge that they need to learn and this would serve as their weapon on this wicked world full of competitions and you take their stories with you, you learn from their experiences and you know to yourself that you would carry these stories in your heart forever.

One of the stories that fascinated me a lot is the story of how a man can achieve anything as long as he puts his heart into it. This is the story of Jin. An unstoppable man and one of the people I look up to. We’ve been talking for a month and a half and I must say that this guy deserves the world.  After all the hardships, sleepless nights, and all the obstacles that he has encountered were all worth it. As what he said, this  phase of his life is an enormous turning point of his; after working in a fashion company, he then realized to pursue his dream as a pilot. His determination to pursue his dreams is igniting tremendously until he decided to study abroad. He spent all days and nights studying, learning.

(If you’re reading this Jin, first and foremost, hi there! and you really inspire me to reach for my dreams no matter how impossible it is!)

Here are the things that I’ve learned from Jin:

  • No matter who you are. No matter how old you are. It’s never too late to reach for your dreams.
  • When you feel dishearten in the process of reaching your goal, remember, how far you’ve already gone. Having an optimistic mind would comfort your distracted thoughts.
  • Language and culture are not barriers, you, yourself is the barrier once you’ve already set to yourself the words “I CAN’T”. Enjoy the process! And in fact what’s more exciting is that you get the chance to meet various people with different cultures and beliefs to yours.
  • Nothing is impossible. The word itself says “IM POSSIBLE”
  • There is nothing sexier than a man who knows what he exactly wants.
  • Within the months of our conversation, there are times that he got so nervous for the pilot job interview for it has 5 phases and what is my purpose in there is absolutely nothing rather than be there for him and let him know that he is capable of everything. I gave him words of encouragement (hoping beyond hope that it helped). One of my favorites (just in case he fails but sure he won’t and I am not mistaken): 

    If Plan A didn’t work, The alphabet has 25 more letters.

  • To all those people who are in long distance relationship: Jin had been in a long distance relationship for 9 months; for the sake of his dreams and career. and I must say that there is nothing wrong if you will put your career first before anything else. As Lady Gaga once said, “some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”and after all, if your partner does love you, they would understand. If they love you, they would wait because love knows no distance but if not, at least you have a career who won’t tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.
  • and no matter what happens; NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS. JUST DON’T. KEEP GOING.

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The process is definitely long and it is never easy. You would encounter lots of difficulties and complications along the way but you know what? everything is all worth it in the end. As the popular saying goes; you reap what you sow. And thanks be to God, Jin has been reaping what he sowed; he sowed sweat, blood, and hardwork and he’s finally reaping all the fruits of his labors.

Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Hyun Jin Ahn ready to fly you in every destination that you wish. Congratulations Jin. You’re the man! 🙂 

Growing up, we are taught to have a dream; to set a goal in our life and pursue it; until then, you would realize the purpose of your life. People call it “calling”. We all have our special abilities or talents that have been awaiting to be discovered. For some, they are still looking for they’re “purpose” and for the lucky ones, they have already found it while striving their best to enhance more of it and take it to the next level and what is more satisfying other than finding your purpose in life? We have this notion that dreams are sweeter than reality, but why not to turn those dreams into reality? Isn’t it just amazing to finally fulfill your goals in life—to finally live the dream that you want? No matter how small or big your dreams are, never stop trying and always believe in yourself. Don’t be afraid to fail! Failures are part of growing up. Widen your horizon. Spread your wings and soar high!  Until then you could finally tell that reality is sweeter than your dreams.

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P.S, thank you very much Jin for inspiring me to be a better version of myself.  Wishing that one day I’d be be able to fly with you. And I do hope you won’t change. Stay humble and no matter how high the altitude that you’ve been soaring, always always keep your feet on the ground.

P.S.S, Aye! Aye! Captain! 🙂