To begin with, I’d like to congratulate you for your 22 years of existence.There are times you act like an asshole but I know you too well more than your people know you. I know that you have a heart of gold inside but you choose to show how cold you are and I can’t blame you for that, because people always disappoint you; they always keep promising that they wouldn’t leave but they left anyway. I know you are tired, emotionally and mentally tired but I thank you for not giving up on us. Now that you are turning 23. I have reread your previous articles and I couldn’t help but to feel proud that this girl is turning into fine young woman. As there’s a saying, we mature by the damages that we have encountered, not by age.Because of that, I’ve jotted down the 23 quotable quotes that you have written in the passed months.
On handling criticisms…
- Do not be afraid to be yourself because once you know your self-worth, it really doesn’t matter anymore if people call or think you as a crazy, asshole, bitch and the likes. Why would you even care? Bruno Mars thinks that you are amazing just the way you are. And gurllll, remember Lady Gaga’s song? You are beautiful in your way cause God makes no mistakes, you’re on the right track baby. You were born this way!
On battling anxiety..
2. When anxiety creeps in, there’s no way to get out of it.Here it is again, the anxiety that overwhelms me for a long time. There’s no way to escape it, nowhere to hide. My head is throbbing, my stomach is churning, my heart is aching. I wish I could delete certain people and memories in my life. I’ve been fighting with the demons inside of me. At night, they will come and by the morning, they’re gone. I always tell myself that there’s no room for negative feelings. Not now. Not ever.
- She’s in a dark room where silence is deafening, there’s a lump in her throat, her heart is heavy, tears are about to kiss her cheeks, she feels like she’s gonna burst at any moment. A sudden flash of lightning bolt appears in the sky passing through the window; she sees herself silhouetted by it; thunder breaks the silence; the sky seems like sympathizing with her feelings. And just then, she fees calm and falls asleep with a storm in her heart.
- I’d always remember you from the exhilarating moment when I first laid my eyes on you, when we first stared at each others’ eyes and uttered the confession of love to the excruciating pain that I felt when I asked you the truth and you chose to sugarcoat your lies. —The Most Dangerous Disease: Having a Strong Memory
On learning to be your own kind of hero…
3. Understand that there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship and that relationship is messy;and that prince charming doesn’t exist;do not wait for your knight in shining armor to come around because you are not Damsel in distress waiting to be saved. Wait for someone who will give you a sword and let the inner warrior of you be unleashed. Be your own kind of hero.
- You look at the mirror and we see different things. You sigh because you can’t be as pretty as your favorite celebrity, I sigh because you think that way. You look again at the mirror and tears of disappointment start to roll down on that exquisite face, you think that the journey ends there. I look at the mirror and I see a beautiful extra-ordinary woman who has a bright future ahead of her. Darling, wipe your tears and show the world what you are capable of. You are more than a pretty face. You don’t have to starve yourself just to be as sexy as your favorite Victoria’s secret model; tell you what, having a sexy mind is way better than having a sexy body.—More than a pretty face
- You became a scar that I would always carry for the rest of my life.And I think I can say that I am proud of this; for this is a scar that is sign of my own bravery and courage to love whole-heartedly despite of the circumstances and consequences. And I could finally heave a deep sigh of relief because I know I have gone through catastrophe and survived; still alive and breathing. And most importantly— still believing in love. I finally accept the fact that you are my lesson not my happy-ever-after.The Most Dangerous Disease: Having a Strong Memory
- A relationship is a give and take. You can’t be the one who always gives and receives nothing in return. For some, they call it unconditional love. But for me, I call it martyrdom.You can’t wipe his ass every time he shits. If you know what I mean.Stop Thinking What If, Start Thinking What Is
On facing the other side of the isosceles…
4. Some days, you would think that you finally own him; his attention, his affection;but everywhere you go is haunted by me. That couch that you are sitting, we used to sit and cuddle there while we were watching a movie; that cup that you are using, he used to pour some tea or coffee in there for me;from the cup to the plates and utensils— they have my claw marks;the sala, the bathroom, bedroom, and furniture— have my fingerprints;from the places that you go (restaurants,malls,cinema,roads)— you would see my ghost. He would always remember me through those little things. My name would always taste like blood in your mouth. When you kiss him, you would taste my sweetness in his lips. When he touches you, you would wonder how he worshiped my body. When he stares at you, he would see a different person wishing you were me. You would wake up in the middle of the night crying and you would feel like there’s a dagger on your chest cause after a tiring earthquake with him, you’d know that no matter what you do, no matter how you twist and turn your body, you would satisfy his manhood but you would never ever own his heart. There are some days you would feel unworthy and you’re gonna pick up a fight with him and surely, he would comfort you (with lies) until you stop whining but you would know deep down on his heart he has never forgotten. I might become a story but I left a mark that you would never erase. Our souls have made love in a way that you cannot imagine.
- Live busily, happily, and humbly. Rejoicing in somebody’s heartbreak would give you satisfaction in a short while but soon enough all the burdens and heartaches that she has experienced would be yours. If you think that your life is as bright as the broad daylight and hers is as dark as a stormy night, just remember that the world is rotating. What goes around comes back around.—“You will never find happiness in the sorrows of another woman.” -Dr. Amari Soul
On remembering the last goodbye..
5. It was a typical morning. The sun was up, the birds were chirping, the roads were busy, everything and everybody were moving oblivious to the current chaos in her heart. She wanted to stop the time or perhaps slowed it down, she always wanted to do that every time she was with him. They had their breakfast in silence, the silence was deafening, he was the one who broke it, “what do you want to do today?” he asked cheerfully, (a typical question) and that day was the last time that she would hear it.They didn’t really have anything in their minds. They just wanted to stay indoor and savor every seconds that they were still together. Their bodies, hearts, and souls had made love for the last time; they whispered how much they love each other and uttered the promise of a lifetime. A lot of people fail to fulfill their promises sometimes people made promises at the time they’re most elevated in their feelings. But to these two people, it is up to them how long they could keep each other in their hearts…
- Sometimes Goodbyes are ForeverWhen people say good night, it literally means good night; when people say good bye, it could mean “Good bye see you soon. See you later.” You still get the chance to see that person in the future. But you also have to understand the deep definition of good bye cause people change and feelings fade; It’s like, “I’m not saying that we won’t see each other again perhaps we’ll see each other tomorrow, next week, next month or next year but there’s no guarantee that the feelings are still there; when I say good bye I say good bye for the love that we shared but I surely treasure the memories; you’ve got to realize that sometimes good byes are forever.”
- I have already boxed the memories we had, I separated the good and the bad and the lessons in each. I, thank you for the life-altering lessons you’ve taught me but I’m not staying. —I Love You No More
On a slowly detachment
6. You are not a superhero who has the special ability to save. The thing is that superheroes save lives not relationships. So basically, it’s in the palm of your hand. At the end of the day, you will choose to hold on because that what love is; people tend to hold on in a drop of hope that things can still go back to normal, you will try and try until you get tired; and slowly by slowly, detachment surfaces. You never wish for it but it happens…
On healing yourself
7. “I find peace and contentment by simply staring at you. Thank you for taking me to places I’ve never been, for giving me roller coaster emotions, and for always being there when I need to drift off in wonderland. You’re such a good friend!”
- When everything seems so tautological and things get out of control. I say,take your time. Close your heart. Dance with the pain. Enjoy the solitude. Find and love yourself. When you are ready, the right one will come along. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Trust love one more time. And then again and again and again.—To Love Again
- We are all broken inside. In our brokenness, we try to find consolations about the consequences of our actions; the regrets of the could haves, should haves, and what ifs. I think human beings like to make believe themselves with these sort of things just like how people get enthusiastically into learning more about butterfly effect, parallel universe, and the likes.Through these, there’s a little hope living inside all of us that even if we may not share this lifetime with the one we love the most, along the wide universe, our futures are different, our futures are somewhere out there, floating along the other universe; the parallel universe. So let me believe that somehow, somewhere on the other side of the vast-boundless universe, we have our happy ending.—The Parallel Universe
On loving the rainy weather…
8. The rain started to fall heavily; thunder rumbled in the distance; lightning struck the dark sky. She stared at the window and smiled at herself as she reminisced the days when her only playmate was the rain; when hot chocolate, blanket, and the love of her mother kept her warm on rainy days; and her fairy tale books were her only companions. Ohh how she missed those moments! She sipped her cup of hot chocolate. Eyes closed as she devoured the moment; the rain smelled peace and contentment. Nothing beats the comfort of the rain. She would never get tired of the rain..
On missing the person you lost forever..
9. Today is one of those melancholic days when I would sit in the corner and let the memory of you submerge to my very thoughts.
- You can now stop running after me when you need some consolations or some ego-boosters. You can now stop calling me in the middle of the night when you’re tired or sick or when you are missing me terribly. Because, I won’t be there anymore. Sure, I miss you too. I miss you every day, every moment of the day, every ticking of the clock. I miss you. And I think, I always will. I will always miss the person I thought you were. Missing you is a bittersweet reminder of the things that could have been and the person I lost.To The Man Who I Lost and Lost Me Forever
On breaking your trust…
10. In just one fleeting moment, doubt started to surface; it’s like a drop of blank ink plops onto a white sheet of paper and it starts to spread out rapidly, smirching the entire pure paper. One thing and you start to be skeptical in everything he does and says. You start to become a love struck dog sniffing on his clothes and next thing you are tempted to look through his laptop, phone, facebook, and all. But can he blame you? after all woman’s instinct is damned right most of the time.
On thanking your mom..
11. Thank you for loving me when I am not so lovable. Thank you for lifting me up when I am at my lowest; thank you for being my number one fan. Thank you for raising me with such kindness. Thank you for teaching me not to settle for anything else. Thank you for knowing my worth even the world doesn’t. Thank you for believing in me when I don’t even believe myself. Thank you for staying and I know you’ll never go even the world turns its back on me and most importantly thank you for the unconditional love that you always show everyday.
On achieving your goal…
12. No matter how small or big your dreams are, never stop trying and always believe in yourself. Don’t be afraid to fail! Failures are part of growing up. Widen your horizon. Spread your wings and soar high! Until then you could finally tell that reality is sweeter than your dreams.
On telling the story, your story of a brave woman
13. She’s the bravest woman I had ever met. She wore bravery on her skin, she smelled blood from the previous war that she went through. Her scars and bruises were signs of the fury of chaos. The scars and bruises that say “she’s alive and she has survived.” She covered her body with armors;she surrounded herself with barricades and put walls around her; She was determined to shut herself to the world and face tomorrow alone for she had lost the people she treasured the most;the people who had caused her the greatest catastrophe in life that a person could have ever experienced. There was no turning back. Soon enough, she would come back to haunt her offenders. She was the comeback girl….
- Maybe I don’t need anybody. Perhaps, I haven’t met the man who will sweep me off my feet or I might have met him and I’m still not over him. Maybe I still want the same person who broke my heart or maybe not. Maybe I can’t be a girlfriend to anyone. Or maybe I am single because I am more comfortable being on my own…—Quick Rant: “Why Are You Single?”
On finally finding the good in good bye..
14. When a woman is done waiting and loving you, there is no turning back. You will only be a memory to her and no matter what you do, she would stay adamant. She would no longer believe in your sugarcoated lies. Don’t say that she changed if you are the one who changed her. You changed her for the better and thanks to you! You wasted your chance. You wasted her love. Now, she is ready to explore the world of opportunities, she is ready now to face the world and future without you for she is simply done with you.
- Never again waste another second, an ounce of energy, milliliter of saliva, and a glimpse of attention into toxic people who only want to get in between your legs. It isn’t wrong to set a high standard in love, set your guard up and if they really want you, they would climb it, no matter what it takes.—2016 Year Ender: Now Signing Off
- I am not bitter anymore and if one day, our paths will cross again with our new different lives, I could look at you straight in the eyes with a huge smile in my face and with no guilt in my heart but only with a great joy because I knew in my heart that what we had and what I had showed and made you feel were real.Our story had started with “Once upon a time, they were exactly what the other needed…” and tragically ended in “but it’s time for them to part.” Darling, it’s time for us to part.—Unsaid Words
- “You had squeezed the last drop of faith that I had in you until I had at last decided to leave. I loved you and I cared for you too much and that was how I saved the love that I had for you.” Her gaze melted him. “I had loved you from those days that turned into nights and months that turned into years. I had loved you silently afar. Then I realized that you could still love and miss someone without wanting them back. Until you finally found yourself again and you woke up one day feeling okay. Not totally healed but okay. Then someone came along, and wonderfully took away all the pain and filled the cracks in your heart with deep love and happiness.” She paused and reached his hand, “I wish you found that contentment in your heart. I wish you met someone who would put back the missing piece in your life that would make you stop looking for it from the wrong people. I wish you happiness. And though this is supposed to be the end of us, I am still glad I met you.” —Unsaid Words Pt.2
On having a closure..
15. I turned on the TV before I plummeted to a deep sentiment but it was too impossible to concentrate on watching when I was feeling excited and agitated all at the same time. I was haunted by our memories. This house that had been our love nest. I saw myself screaming at him, I was totally annoyed and he liked annoying me, I was telling him to bugger off and he was telling me some hard punch line that made me smile in the middle of quarrel. I smiled at the memory. He was always the calm one and I was the nagger one. I wondered how did he put up with me. But that was then, what we had is now hers; not mine anymore.
- For such a long time, I have left our story opened for I was hoping and waiting that might one day you’ll come along and write the continuation of it. Love, the ink has ran dry, the pages have changed its colors, fast fading through time, and the tear drops on the last few pages have dried and have left only its marks. I have grabbed the pen a few times, thinking if I should do it or not. And at this very moment, I decided to put a full stop in it. And wrote light-heartedly the words -The end…To The Man Who I Lost and Lost Me ForeverTo The Man Who I Lost and Lost Me Forever
On welcoming the changes in your life…
16. Change is definitely the only constant thing in the world. The world continues on revolving; the world won’t stop moving just because you are hurt or you don’t want to. The season changes. You roll the calendar. And you go along with it. You grow older. You become wiser. You change and that means you become maturer.
- As they say, you can’t see the beauty of a building if you are standing inside of it. To have a clearer view of something, you must look at it afar.
- Here’s to more adventures and meeting extra-ordinary people.
Here’s to new beginnings;
to you and to me;
Here’s to letting go of the past and earning the lessons in it.
Here’s to another wonderful year well spent with you..—2016 Year Ender: Now Signing Off
- “Life is full of uncertainty. There is nothing permanent in this world. The world is a constant change and you’ve got nothing to do but to get along with it and enjoy what life has to offer.”—Stop Thinking What If, Start Thinking What Is
On writing to express not to impress..
17. Too many people these days seem to be more focal on impressing or pleasing others by using their flowery/deep vocabularies which do not make sense that sometimes make the idea of the write up diffusive, as a result, the message of the essay becomes ambiguous to the readers. Remember: write to express not to impress.
- I was scrolling down my blog posts and I just then realized how tremendously sad creature I am. I have then realized that my thoughts are so preoccupied by the past events and people. I think that’s the problem if you are a memory hoarder.You keep the memories with you; happy or sappy. One of the good things of having your own space, you are in charge of everything. No one will tell you what to write or what to say. You can write down your very own thoughts, all your angst, anxieties, and distress in life that seem to magically fade away by just putting them to words especially if you are not a sociable or chatty person in real life.
On respecting one’s opinion…
18. But not because we do not share the same opinions or views over some certain issues doesn’t mean you are right and I am wrong. It means we are seeing things in a different perspective; We are entitled in our own opinions, I respect yours and I am not forcing you to respect mine, it only means you are so closed-minded that you refused to consider one’s opinion and that is all up to you.
On missing the people who are long gone..
19. We may not be breathing the same air anymore nor see the same sky but your memories are engraved with us. For the meantime, let us breathe the stimulating air of early November for you. Let us be your senses while you are enjoying the paradise with God where no more pain, chaos, starvation— far far away from the cruel world down here. It has been a rough journey for all of us, hasn’t it? But we are so lucky that once in our lives, you became part of ours just like we became part of yours. There is no Good bye, only see you soon.
- My heart—it may have loved a thousand times and might have been broken in a million ways; it would always seek for you. And somewhere in the depth of my heart, you are there—easing the pain; serving as my refuge.
- I didn’t know when did I stop crying nor when would I stop crying. You know the feeling of you wanted to run to the person whom you know could only stop you from crying but you just can’t do that because you’re facing the crucial truth that you won’t see that person nor touch his hand; and the fact that you won’t hear his voice anymore because he’s gone and would never ever come back. Devastating. In one snap, the world that you created with him had collapsed. Just like that.—Send My Love To Heaven
- I believe that we all have our own journey and destination, and in order for you to get there, you’ve got to stop and you’ve got to rest first because the journey is long, unsure, and exhausting. I understand you for leaving me, I understand that I was just one of the stops that you had happened to passed by and you, the people I loved and cared, were just passers by.Eternally Grateful To All The People Who Walked Away and Stay In My Life
On having your best revenge..
20. One day, you would root for me and wonder how I am living but one thing is for sure; I won’t grant you the satisfaction of seeing my life falling apart. For this is my revenge, I would live happily and vigorously while you reap the bad seeds that you’ve sowed. As the popular notion said, what goes around comes back around. All the things you’ve done will catch up to you.
On feeling alive once again..
21. You held my hand and stroke it slowly as if you were memorizing every lines on it and when our hands intertwined, it felt like my jigsaw puzzle had finally found its missing piece.
- That someone
That someone who has the most beautiful eyes;
Those eyes that glimmer like a thousand stars when he smiles;
His smile is like a beacon flickering in a dark dark night beckoning you to come home ;
The dark night that you thought was seemingly no end suddenly glistens;
illuminating the pathway towards him
For he is the candle light that will never melt
The flashlight that do not run out of battery;
For he, himself is the light;
His voice sounds melody in the ears
that could only calm the demons inside you;
His touch brings you shiver down the spine;
the sweet sweet sensation of his kisses causing the butterflies in your stomach to uproar;
For he is that someone who gives you a very reason to stay sane
You just know, it’s him
When the right time comes
Everything around you will be slow mo
As he is turning his back to face you
You would know that he isn’t just that someone; more than someone
He is everything.
- Walking under the starry starry night; holding hands; feeling the cold breeze of the air of ber season playing with my hair back and fourth; while feeling adamant from everything, for that night was ours. There were a lot of thoughts I didn’t voice out. I was at chaos; the demons inside me were at war then you gave me a back hug and everything was so peaceful, so calming.—Someone
- Here’s to usHere’s to all the things that we’ve been through;
to all the good and the bad times spent together;
Here’s to nostalgia and euphoria;
to all the times that we have wasted being apart;
Here’s to all the good byes that have been uttered but have never done;
to all the fuck yous that end up to i love yous and i miss yous;
to all the fights and make ups;
Here’s to the year of loneliness and emptiness;
to all the lonely nights spent by weeping;
to all the pail of tears we have shed because of hurting and missing each other
and here’s to another year of a new hope;
Here’s to another year with you;
Here’s to you my love;
to the amazing love that shines my life;
to my ray of sunlight,
Here’s to us,
Here’s to our love;
here’s to making up to all the things that we should have done;
Here’s to the year of changes;
Here’s to healing, moving on and letting go of all the hatred in our hearts;
Here’s to forgiving ourselves for not being perfect;
Here’s to the year of second chances;
to the fulfillment of our promises;
Till death do we part.
Here’s to a brand new beginning of just you and me.—Here’s To Us
- People said when you see a stranger in your dream, you might have met that person somewhere before. You may not remember it but your subconscious mind does. So there is a tendency that the people we meet on the street may appear in our dreams unconsciously.Perhaps, have we met before?—The Man Who Leaped Through My Dreams
- Lover, you are may be somewhere staring at the same night sky and wishing for a shooting star to cross the dark sky illuminated by the moon. You would smile because you know that you don’t believe on those sort of things but then you enjoy seeing extra-ordinary things;while I am lying down on the roof; arm at the back of my head, tracing the constellation of stars through my forefinger—wondering what are you like and where are you and what are you doing? Even though we are in different places perhaps at a different time zone too, our minds and hearts are connected. The stars above us would decide when will our paths cross but how would you know if it is I already? It is when you look at my eyes and see things just as the same as the beauty of stars in dim light that you adore in the night sky;look at the palms of my hands and you will see your name traced in it. That’s the time the universe, the stars, and the planets will conspire to help us find each other. The heaven and earth will be finally aligned. The universe will stare at us in awe because finally after a long journey, we have at last found our destination.Lover, do something. Find me. Please find me.The Man Who Leaped Through My Dreams
22. There are some special people who will come into your life and will stay there permanently. Those people who will stick with you through thick and thin, through prosperity and impoverishment. Those people who will stay true to you and aren’t afraid to tell you bluntly how pain in the ass you are but still pick you and lift you up from your downfall. You know what they’re called? Real Friends.
- A true friend is a light in the dark. She’s a kind of person who will hit you real hard in the head and tell you bluntly how you are messing your life with shitty people. She won’t shower you with compliments then talk shit behind your back. She’ll do that in front of you. And most importantly, she would stay with you even if the world leaves, she will always be there, serving as your light in your dark days.—2016 Year Ender: Now Signing Off
And lastly, on moving forward…
23. It’s okay to weep and wallow for the people who are long gone
It’s okay to be sad,
It’s okay to be angry,
It’s okay to cry,
It’s okay to still love the person who hurt us and to want another shot,
It’s okay to lick your own wounds in the middle of the night,
It’s okay to cry buckets of tears,
It’s okay to realize that the problem is not you,
It’s okay to let go of the things that are hurting you,
It’s okay to move on,
It’s okay to stop thinking what if,
and it’s totally okay to start thinking what is.
It’s okay to say yes to new adventures;
It’s okay to lose and find yourself back again.
It’s okay to be happy,
It’s okay to look forward and never look back…
It’s okay… You’ll be okay..
I’ve been there and done that…—Stop Thinking What If, Start Thinking What Is
- I may be stubborn, obnoxious, temperamental, and pain in the ass at times, but I am that person who you can hold on to, you’ve got nothing to worry because I would cure your skinned knees when life knocks you down. I may have taken you for granted most of the time but I’ll be with you. I can’t guarantee you a smooth sailing journey; our journey might be full of humps and bumps, storms, and catastrophe, it’s frightening but I can guarantee you that I would still be there. I would never ever give up on you, just like how you didn’t give up on me.Eternally Grateful To All The People Who Walked Away and Stay In My Life
See that, see how awful mind you have. Our journey is still long. We still have a lot of paths to take together so hang in there. And if you feel lonely, sad, melancholic, meditate for a while and you’ll find me. I mean, you are just 22 turning 23, it’s okay if you haven’t figured out your whole life yet. You still have long years ahead of you. Stop stressing yourself or overthink about the things and people who aren’t worthy of your time and attention.
Lastly, thank you for coming this far; for staying sane, and for returning back to me. Thank you for listening and paying attention to me now. Never think that you are alone, I’m just here. I am you and you is me.
I got your back,