Random Thoughts, Writings

Detachment

Detachment n.

1. The act or process of disconnecting or detaching; separation.
2. The state of being separate or detached.

Detachment
Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it. If I wanted to detach completely, I would move my body away. I would stop the conversation mid-sentence. I would leave the bed. Instead, I hover over it for a second. I glance off in another direction. But I always glance back at you.”
―David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary

This word is all beautiful, sad and tragic. There will come a point in our life when we realize that the person who we love is never good for us but that doesn’t mean we stop loving them. Feelings and emotions change. It’s funny how things can change in a short span of a moment. One day, you wake up and your insight has changed; you start questioning everything around you including your love for him; deep down you know that you still love him but things have changed, he is no longer your priority; you wake up and you feel better with or without him; he isn’t the first person you think in the morning anymore; you no longer bother to call him or even send a good morning long i love you and i miss you messages. He notices that you are slowly drifting away and he tries to hold you back. He never wants to let you go, he holds your hands so tight while your hands are no longer attached with his. You are no longer attached. Congratulations. You are free.  

But then, it’s both sad and tragic to look back in the past when the both of you were still inseparable. Who would have thought that this relationship would end this way? Well, I guess every relationship has its climax and we have reached ours, the difference with others is that they are strong enough to withstand every obstacles that will come their ways and it’s sad that we are not that strong enough. There’s no perfect relationship, I always say that. A relationship is built by three fundamental foundations: love, trust, and respect. Once, one of these is broken, it would be hard for the relationship to recover. But of course, there is still LOVE which is the strongest among the three, you will keep going and try to fix what has been broken but later on, no matter how you love someone there will come to a point that you will be tired because it looks like you are the only one who is fighting. It’s okay to be tired. You are not a superhero who has the special ability to save. The thing is that superheroes save lives not relationships. So basically, it’s in the palm of your hand. At the end of the day, you will choose to hold on because that what love is; people tend to hold on in a drop of hope that things can still go back to normal, you will try and try until you get tired; and slowly by slowly, detachment surfaces. You never wish for it but it happens…
You feel sorry for him. If only he fights for you from the beginning. If only he didn’t take you for granted. If only he made himself available when you need him the most.If only…now it’s too late…
You pack your things and ready to go
He holds your hand and says, “Please, don’t leave me.”
You turn around and see his devastating face.
You stare at his eyes and walk away without saying a thing…
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