The Memoir of Last Good bye

“There are moments when i wish i could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but i have a feeling that if i did, the joy would be gone as well. So i take the memories as they come, accepting them all, letting them guide me whenever i can.”
Nicholas Sparks, Dear John

October 10, 2015— The date that she would never forget; the day were the last things happened; last hug, last, kiss, last goodbye. Ten months have passed but it’s sill vivid to her memory.

That morning, She woke up and felt surreal; the first thing that came first to her mind was “this is it.”, She looked at the man who was sleeping beside her.She watched him as he was peacefully sleeping, tears on the corner of her eyes were starting to roll down her face; emotions were clouding her mind; She touched his eyes— (she’ll surely miss those beautiful sincere brown eyes, his thick and long eye-lashes), then his pointed big nose (that she always bites and plays by her nose too), his lips that she loves, his rough face. She was memorizing every bits of him. She cuddled him close to her and she smelled the familiar smell that she would always love. (God, how does she love this man!) The man moved and opened his eyes for a while and hugged her tight and said, “Good morning baby.” She buried her face on his chest and couldn’t help herself sniffed, “why? What’s the matter baby?” She didn’t say a thing then he took her face and kissed her on the forehead, “I am also sad. But we have to do this. It’s only for a while then we’ll be together again and I won’t let anyone or anything to come between us. We won’t be apart again. Come on, stop crying.” She couldn’t help it, she sobbed and he hugged her so tight reassuring her that everything’s gonna be alright. “I’ll make you breakfast. Come on.” consoled him. It was a typical morning. The sun was up, the birds were chirping, the roads were busy, everything and everybody were moving oblivious to the current chaos in her heart. She wanted to stop the time or perhaps slowed it down, she always wanted to do that every time she was with him. They had their breakfast in silence, the silence was deafening, he was the one who broke it, “what do you want to do today?” he asked cheerfully, (a typical question) and that day was the last time that she would hear it.They didn’t really have anything in their minds. They just wanted to stay indoor and savor every seconds that they were still together. Their bodies, hearts, and souls had made love for the last time; they whispered how much they love each other and uttered the promise of a lifetime. A lot of people fail to fulfill their promises sometimes people made promises at the time they’re most elevated in their feelings. But to these two people, it is up to them how long they could keep each other in their hearts.

Evening came. It’s almost time. They had their dinner in her favorite place. You could see two happy faces with sad eyes. “I will miss you.” she said smiling but that smile didn’t even reach her eyes. “I will miss you with all my heart.” he answered. He held her hand and kissed it. They finished their dinner and walked along the road for a while. Holding hands, her arms around his waist, her head on his shoulder, his arms around hers. He kissed him on the head. They walked silently as they  stared at each others eyes. She looked around, she had done it again as if she had been trying to memorize every places, things, and most of all the man that she loved. They reached the parking. It was time. He drove in silence and she sighed heavily. She stared outside the window, deep in her thoughts. “You know what, why don’t we take a picture?” she said cheerfully. They took their last picture. He kissed him lightly in the lips. “I love you very much.” he said. Sadness started to overwhelm her. There was a lump in her throat. Her heart started to get heavy. Hot liquid fell on her cheeks. She looked away. Small sniff. “Are you crying?” He stopped the car. He held his face and told her how much he loved her, he kissed her forehead, her nose, then lips. The kiss tasted bitter-sweet. Is this the taste of good bye? they hugged each other so tight. She never wanted to let go from his hug. He continued on driving. He lectured her as if she’s a little kid; that she should keep an eye on her important belongings, that she should take care of herself, do not talk to strangers, and call him immediately once she arrives. He stopped the car.



 They didn’t say much words. She took her luggage. He kissed her for the last time. Too much kisses at that day. 

“I love you.” she murmured. She hurried inside. She didn’t want to look back. She might change her mind any moment if she did so. Her body was shaking as she sobbed. She didn’t care if people stared at her wondering what was wrong. She called her family.

“I’m coming home.”

But little did she know home was somewhere near him for he was her home. Her heart ached.

He called her.

He watched her as she entered inside. He may not show it but his heart was breaking and he knew that part of him was gone for she took it with her. They never said good bye only “see you again soon.” As the plane departed, hot fluid started to roll down her face once again. Too much crying at that day. She knew in heart that their decision was risky but they were determined to get through with it. But the question was, how long?

He watched her plane ascended in distance; until it became smaller and smaller then out of his sight. He wanted to scream. He was not claustrophobic but he suddenly felt that the surrounding was starting to get smaller and tighter. He didn’t know if he made the right decision to made her leave but there was no choice. The plane had left for thirty minutes already but he was still there, staring at the night sky, “See you again soon, my love. I’ll be waiting for you” he murmured. Hands inside his pocket, he groped something inside of his left pocket, a napkin, he took it out. It was a stick drawing of a man and woman holding hands and it was written, “thank you for everything. I love you very much.” He smiled. His heart tightened. Tears fell. Was he crying? definitely he was. He was missing her already. 

Then he left…


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