Writings

Blues…..

Sometimes it’s very difficult to perform your job especially if it requires much talking, when you actually want to sit in the corner and stay quiet and not to say anything at all-lost in your own thoughts.

I wonder if I really want this life. *sigh*

At the end of a long tiring day, it feels good to have someone who you can vent all your frustrations in life. Someone who will be there and listen to all your rants and will hug and catch you when you’re about to fall. It feels good to have someone who is exactly the same as myself. *sigh*

It’s tiring to show everybody that you are fine, that you are not hurting when all you want to do is lie down on your bed and wrap your tired body in a blanket or perhaps fall down in someone’s arms and cry it all out.

My mind seems to wander to the places I’ve never been. I am home but it doesn’t feel like home at all.

Why can’t I just be a bird? Free. Free to fly. Free to wander wherever it wants to go.

I wish I could go back in the past. I wish I could be a child again when the only thing I worry about is the school work. Is there such thing as time travelling? Does it exist? If so, how much is the fare?

We’re so excited to grow up not knowing that things just get more complicated. From wounded knees to wounded heart to a scar that will last a life time.

Why people are so complicated?

Why people are so annoying?

Why do people say I change? Do they really think I’d be stupid all my life?

Do I really need this job? Why can’t I just stay at home and be a couch potato all day. Life is difficult.

Where are the people I used to love? I hope they’re doing fine. How are you Jhonrey? How’s heaven? Would you still know me when we see each other again? Would your heart recognize mine? I’m missing you very much.

She’s in a dark room where silence is deafening, there’s a lump in her throat, her heart is heavy, tears are about to kiss her cheeks, she feels like she’s gonna burst at any moment. A sudden flash of lightning bolt appears in the sky passing through the window; she sees herself silhouetted by it; thunder breaks the silence; the sky seems like sympathizing with her feelings. And just then, she fees calm and falls asleep with a storm in her heart.

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How can you make them understand you? When you can’t even understand yourself?

You want vengeance? You can shoot yourself in front of the person who hurt you so badly in that way, you’d give him something that he wouldn’t forget all his life; he will forever live with guilt and angst.

Sometimes it’s better to keep mum. There are things better left unsaid and; there are some people who don’t deserve to hear your voice.

You get so overwhelmed with his words that you overlook his actions.

Don’t break down your walls to people. Let them find their way to climb it. If they want you, they would but if not, let them leave.

They tell you to wear you heart on your sleeve then take advantage of it. No, hide your heart, protect it from trespassers.

I don’t know why I am writing these sort of things. I feel a little melancholy. I don’t know why, mood swings perhaps tiredness are overwhelming me but I am fine. Maybe there are no sad days maybe I was just happier yesterday. Whatever I am feeling right now, I know that this too shall pass. It’s okay self, don’t be too hard on yourself*pats own shoulder*

P.S stay happy self.

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